Just like that…..after nine and a half decades, my dad departed these shores….
All I could think of was the painting by Casper David Friedrich of 1835…..The Stages of Life.
The painting is set on a sea shore and shows an older man, with his back to the viewer, he is walking towards a family group of two adults and two children. The five people are on a rocky outcrop looking down on a coastline. There are five ships in the bay below each at a different distance from the shore. The people are all different ages, children, adults and an elderly man show us the various stages of life. The painting is an allegorical reference to life and the passing of time. The ships show us life as a journey or a voyage whilst the people show us the various stages of human life. The older gentleman is at the end of his journey as he walks with his stick, whilst the children playing are at the beginning of their journey.
The painter represents himself as the old man coming to the end of his journey.
Here’s what I wrote about my dad…..
A few words on Dad’s sparkle and magic…….from me – Janet, Derek’s eldest daughter….
Dad was a special person, he sprinkled smiles wherever he went.
Kind, generous and always, always he had time to chat – sometimes too much time to chat.
He loved people and he loved companionship.
When Sarah and I were children he was, by far, the most popular dad in Birkdale.
He’d appear at children’s parties with presents, games and dancing, always dancing.
Sarah and I still remember the box of trolls distributed to our friends as a ridiculously generous going-home present. Our friends never forgot that!
Dad taught Sarah and I to look at the night sky, and he’d point out The Plough, Orion’s Belt and The Morning Star (Venus).
When he was at sea The Morning Star was the key to navigation he’d explain.
We were brought up on a diet of Swallows and Amazons and Peter Pan we’d look at the sky and imagine Peter and Wendy flying through the inky blackness.
We’d imagine it was us.
Dad inspired us to do whatever we wanted to do and just like Peter Pan he never wanted to grow up.
Safe travels Dad – we’ll miss you – just remember……………… in the words of JM Barrie………….
“Second star to the right and straight on ’til morning.”
We love you Dad and we’ll miss you.
4th Sept, 2026
Didn’t know your Dad Janet but this certainly brought a tear to my eye – he sounds wonderful, you were blessed. Xx
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Well! What a change! For the second time today I find my eyes full of tears as a result of something I read this morning: The first was a brilliantly-constructed and -written nostalgic and valedictory article “Heroes of ’66” by Boris Starling in “The Critic” (a truly excellent and thought-provoking magazine, if you’re not familiar with it?), which was simply a most moving tribute to each member of the England Team which won the World Cup in 1966, of whom just one (Sir Geoff Hurst) is still with us today.
The other was your even-more moving and lovely obituary to your Father. Although I obviously never knew him personally, your beautiful piece made me feel that I had known him, and moved me to tears – again! In fact, it reminded me of the quotation from Rumi (and ancient Persian Philosopher) which a wise and learned old friend sent to me when my Father died in 1984, after a long and productive life (he had been born in 1899); Rumi’s unforgettable words were: “When you quit this earth, seek not to be buried in the ground, but in the hearts of men” .
I have never forgotten those kind and very pertinent words from my colleague – my Father – like yours – had been a friend, mentor and cheerful inspiration to so many of his friends and Clients, as well as to my Brother and myself – and again (like yours, I am sure) will remain buried in the hearts of men for a long long time. I am sure that you will have derived as much pleasure, satisfaction and consolation from the memories of your Father, as I did from my friend’s so perceptive quotation.
I loved your touching description and tribute to your Father, and will certainly keep your brilliant and touching eulogy as an inspirational example of fillial love and how to remember someone properly; thank you for such a moving, memorable and beautifully-written description, and for such a relevant and poignant reminder of Casper David Friedrich’s painting. (I remember learning about some of his romantic landscape paintings in my German Lessons at school; the only one I can remember was a very dramatic painting of a man standing on a rather bleak rock, overlooking a crashing sea in the mist below him; I hadn’t been aware of the possibility of reading such depth into the painting, as you had cleverly and appropriately done in the case of his painting of the stages of life)
But I digress! This was intended just to thank you for your moving and memorable blog, and to share my reaction with you!
With fondest regards,
John
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As always John – thank you xxxx
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Dear Janet,
I was saddened to hear about the loss of your dad. Your heartfelt words are very moving. Your write so beautifully.
Your dad sounded like a wonderful man who lived a long and happy life, bringing the party with him wherever he went.
Iâve attached my favorite poem of condolence. When I lost my father, then Mom more recently, this poem brought me great solace. I read it from time to time when feeling their absence and send it on to friends and family members who find themselves dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Your dad is now in Godâs loving hands watching down on you, and loving you still. I hope this brings you some comfort during this very difficult time.
So truly sorry for your loss.
Warmly
Laura
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Janet, this is so lovely. It brought a tear to my eye and is exactly how I remember your fun loving, and oh so young at heart Dad. How wonderful to have so many very special memories ❤️ RIP Derek
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